zaterdag 31 oktober 2015

secret and silent

is the pearl-grey month.
the changeling between
warm crimson October
ad cold white December.
the month
when the leaves fall in slow 
drifting whirls
and the shapes of the trees
are revealed 
when the earth 
imperceptibly wakes
and stretches her bare limbs 
and displays
her stubborn unconquerable strength
before she settles uneasily 
into winter.
is secret and silent 

Alison Uttley


I always assumed I love 
N O V E M B E R 
so much because I was born
in november .
The month of my birthday .
I LOVE birthdays .

the season of rain and being indoors
and tea and lots of books .
I was a reading girl 
and my birthday always brougth me
new books 
I LOVE books .
I love the way they "feel"
the smell of the paper 
the structure of the paper 
the lay-out
all of it 
above all
the magic
of disappearing
in the story
the not wanting to stop reading ......
as a child I was allowed to read one chapter
before sleep !
and than the ligth had to go out !
In school we were allowed
to take one book a week ..
Loved that too 
to be able to choose 
for myself 
for free....
At a schoolreunion a few years ago
I heard for the first time
most kids from my class
were NOT allowed to read at home.
they had to help and work .
Reading was waste of time .
that was in the fifties

 one of the advantages
of growing older is
to understand my life
more and more .

By being a grandmother
it's like I got an overview
of how wonderful life is .

a new birthday
I love it 

sweet november to all of you 

zaterdag 3 oktober 2015

*** impermanence ***


I love this time of the year .
October is my  favorite month.
temperature is fresher
the air is damper
the smell is different
the october-sun making it all
pleasant to be outside and 
also showing the beauty of the 
fall-colors .

I love to admire all fall's beauty .
of course Spring and Summer are
wonderful seasons too but
to me AUTUMN crown's them all.

the beautiful spiderwebs
in the early mornings

the old deciduous decayed 
I find touching beautiful .

spring and summer can be 
just a bit TOO much for me .
too powerfull 

I can have that with people too.....
too powerful , too present ..........

I love it when attention is a bit
different , when there can be connection 
to the inside , the innerworld .

and yet I have called this phase of my life 
( turning 65 november 2 )


I know it is called the autumn of life .
but it is because I am getting access to 
a powerful feeling inside me to 
be - become ME-MYSELF 
after being a mother and a teacher 
for a long time .

I feel like a beautiful chestnut who
has been growing and growing and collected
all nature has given him-her
through the seasons and the years 
and has all in himself what's needed to grow 
on his own.

Oh help 
it's hard to find the words in another language.
I hope you can understand a little bit
what I mean to say .

as a crown on my life
I went to the forest
with my granddaugther , she is 4

being here
this time of the year
with her
seeing fall through her eyes 
collecting all the chestnuts , 
acorns , beechnuts , hazelnuts and pinecorns.
was amazing 
feeling the new ME .

being able to drive my car 
to walk overthere 
with my two new hips and
never even thinking about that anymore......

I felt SO lucky and grateful and thankful .
my heart was dancing of pure joy .

my son lent me his laptop
so I can blog again 
happy october you all .