zaterdag 28 november 2015

confused



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yesterday-evening
I saw a program on tv 
and they were talking about
blogging and vlogging and you-tube followers
and sponsorship.........
and suddenly I realised
I AM OLD .

pick a word and start writing
says the part on the top 
I love doing that .
I love words and I love
what writing does to me .
How all that's inside my head 
suddely seems to find a way out
on the paper through my pen ,
fountainpen , always.
My hand starts writing and the ink
on the paper brings peace 
and surprises me over and over ...
So often I understood more of myself
after reading what I wrote down .

However
I am not so good in just writing
as in a diary .....
It has to be adressed to ......
like in a letter ......
or in a blog ...........

For a long time 
my children were the ones 
who kept me informed 
when I saw what they were doing
and how they were doing it .

now they are all living on their own 
and I do not see so much anymore .

I already was looking for 
where I could belong 
in blogging for example.

since my life changed so much
by no more working 
no more children in the house 
I kind of lost my goal ..............
and it came to me 
I had to find out for myself 
what I want .........................

so 
I decided 
that will be my subject 
that is what I will write about 
my search 

in the past years 
there were so many 
chances to look back to 
how it was 
and how it is now .

I am still confused but 
I found out that's okay,
as long as I am on my way .......
searching .....

For me it took courage 
to except I do not know
but I would like to know 
so 
here I go 

have a wonderful new week
you all

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vrijdag 20 november 2015

a little help from you , friends


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living alone 

*
understanding
that my life
is more beautiful 
for having been broken.

a lot happened and a lot changed
and that is in each life .
my life is mine
and made me who I am today

I love blogging 
it took a while before
I found my own way/style 
and along bloggers I connected with.

and than the internet
changed that too
some bloggers disappeared
to facebook , instagram
and lost their need to blogging.
I too am on facebook and instagram
also there trying to find my own way.

I am not looking for followers 
never did 
of course I love when one
loves to follow ME 
when they do .
but I also love to feel connected 
to know there is a connection .

in blogging 
I am 
as in my life now
a kind of living alone again.

my kids are on their own
I am on my own 
and many blogfriends left too
went elswhere
and I feel like on my own here too.

but
I would like to find new friends
here

like in the real world 
I need to go out 
and meet people 

if 
you read my blog
and you have an idea
for me 
please point to me 
other bloggers YOU think
could be an idea for me to 
start following 

I could use a little 
HELP
from friends 

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