confused

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yesterday-evening

I saw a program on tv 

and they were talking about

blogging and vlogging and you-tube followers

and sponsorship.........

and suddenly I realised

I AM OLD .

pick a word and start writing

says the part on the top 

I love doing that .

I love words and I love

what writing does to me .

How all that's inside my head 

suddely seems to find a way out

on the paper through my pen ,

fountainpen , always.

My hand starts writing and the ink

on the paper brings peace 

and surprises me over and over ...

So often I understood more of myself

after reading what I wrote down .

However

I am not so good in just writing

as in a diary .....

It has to be adressed to ......

like in a letter ......

or in a blog ...........

For a long time 

my children were the ones 

who kept me informed 

when I saw what they were doing

and how they were doing it .

now they are all living on their own 

and I do not see so much anymore .

I already was looking for 

where I could belong 

in blogging for example.

since my life changed so much

by no more working 

no more children in the house 

I kind of lost my goal ..............

and it came to me 

I had to find out for myself 

what I want .........................

so 

I decided 

that will be my subject 

that is what I will write about 

my search 

in the past years 

there were so many 

chances to look back to 

how it was 

and how it is now .

I am still confused but 

I found out that's okay,

as long as I am on my way .......

searching .....

For me it took courage 

to except I do not know

but I would like to know 

so 

here I go 

have a wonderful new week

you all

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