zaterdag 28 november 2015

confused



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yesterday-evening
I saw a program on tv 
and they were talking about
blogging and vlogging and you-tube followers
and sponsorship.........
and suddenly I realised
I AM OLD .

pick a word and start writing
says the part on the top 
I love doing that .
I love words and I love
what writing does to me .
How all that's inside my head 
suddely seems to find a way out
on the paper through my pen ,
fountainpen , always.
My hand starts writing and the ink
on the paper brings peace 
and surprises me over and over ...
So often I understood more of myself
after reading what I wrote down .

However
I am not so good in just writing
as in a diary .....
It has to be adressed to ......
like in a letter ......
or in a blog ...........

For a long time 
my children were the ones 
who kept me informed 
when I saw what they were doing
and how they were doing it .

now they are all living on their own 
and I do not see so much anymore .

I already was looking for 
where I could belong 
in blogging for example.

since my life changed so much
by no more working 
no more children in the house 
I kind of lost my goal ..............
and it came to me 
I had to find out for myself 
what I want .........................

so 
I decided 
that will be my subject 
that is what I will write about 
my search 

in the past years 
there were so many 
chances to look back to 
how it was 
and how it is now .

I am still confused but 
I found out that's okay,
as long as I am on my way .......
searching .....

For me it took courage 
to except I do not know
but I would like to know 
so 
here I go 

have a wonderful new week
you all

*

5 opmerkingen:

  1. Dear friend,

    I am confused too. I quit my blog in search of a new way, a "better way" to shape my writing. My blog was WONDERFUL and the best part was all of YOU. But then, things changed. My job got more demanding, causing fatigue. I couldn't just write anything, I wanted it to be SPECTACULAR every time. So I quit. Now, I am empty. However, my writing doesn't have to always be spectacular, I am learning, nor for an audience. We will always be in search of something my friend, and as we get older, the better. As I was hanging Christmas ornaments early this morning, a thought came to me about aging. I hope to just write about it, hoping to not expect greatness from it, but to just start with one word.

    Writing is lonely, but we must do it.

    I wish you great discoveries and most of all, peace as you write my friend.

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  2. I am so glad that I began writing a blog 4 years ago because I became a writer - not a good one, but a writer none the less.

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  3. Hallo Francis, ik kwam op jouw blog omdat ik jouw uitgebreide en doordachte antwoord op een andere blog zo inspirerend vond dat ik heel benieuwd werd naar de schrijfster en tot mijn verrassing kwam ik op jouw openharige blog. Mij trekt jouw schrijfstijl en hersenspinsels heel wat meer dan alle opgeflufte foto's op instagram en korte tweets veel meer, jouw vergelijking in een andere blog over the shop around the corner geeft inderdaad precies het verschil aan in media. Ik wil door een stukje geinspireerd worden tot nadenken, creeëren en samenhorigheid voelen. Niet jaloers gemaakt worden door een beeld van perfectie wat in scene is gezet en mij laat voelen of het niet goed genoeg is wat ik ben, doe of maak. Zeker weten dat ik vaker bij je langs kom om wat te lezen en te kijken, en wie weet wil jij mijn blog ook wel eens bezoeken. Ik ben wat voorzichtig geworden met veel over mijn persoonlijke leven en gedachtes te delen op mijn blog, maar mijn hoofddoel is inspireren op creatief gebied, en als voormalig juffrouw zal dat jou misschien ook wel aanspreken?

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  4. Yes, writing is a great place to put down our thoughts, feelings, and anything in between. And I love the way you write, Francis. And I noticed all your writing and pen pictures on your side bar and smiled. I'm not sure what vlogging means? I've never heard of that before.

    Keep writing, dear Francis. Your words touch my heart. : )

    love, ~Sheri

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  5. I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, Francis. So glad you are my blog friend. I hope this Christmas season is merry and bright for you, and that you have a wonderful day with your family.

    love, ~Sheri

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