donderdag 2 augustus 2012

confused

*
Go on ?
or stop ?
share ?
or not ?
*
I loved blogging
since I started .
and I still do .
*
It's easy to share
HAPPINESS
and 
all the comments
and connections
bring so much 

JOY
*
but now 
something happened
in my family
and I do have to share
so you know
why I am not here
as much as I wanted
and also 
why I cannot share
just happy images
and joyful words
at the moment
*
My middle sister
was diagnosed
with longcancer
two weeks ago
and it's very very bad.

She already had a bad health
because of longemphysema
and now this .
because of her weekness
there can be nothing done anymore

so 
within two weeks
she
and her family
and we 
her brother and sisters
had to deal with A LOT

*
all has been talked about
all arrangements have been made
she declines by day

*
today
she is moving
to a hospitium
Her own wish

*
I still cannot believe
this is happening
We , my brother and other sister
and me had a long meeting
to share and talk about
all what's to be done

*
Of course I have also
my own children
who are suddenly
about to loose
a very sweet aunt
They also have their grief

*
Now you know
why I cannot be
blogging
the way I prefere 

*
I must admit 
it is also a very special time
we are sharing as a family

*
My sister always
loved the sky by night
always watching the stars 

now she is leaving us soon
to be one herself 



10 opmerkingen:

  1. In tragedy, some how, somewhere, there is beauty. I just read it.

    I hope you understand what I mean here dear friend. Your ability to WRITE what you see, hear, feel, taste, smell is INCREDIBLY powerful. Beside that however, I want to extend my heart and support to you. These things come so surprisingly, but I believe that you are gifted to share what hits you

    BY SURPRISE, whether it is good or bad, bright or cloudy, uplifting or sad.

    You can do this. You can survive the moments in life and I believe that you are gifted to share what you experience in order that OTHERS may benefit, as well as yourself.

    Your last thought is so powerful my dear...extremely poignant.

    Oh Francis, I wish I could just hug you right now.

    BE STRONG. I will be back. Anita

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  2. Pfoe... Woorden schieten tekort hier.... Ik kan je alleen maar veel sterkte en kracht toewensen! En probeer zoveel mogelijk nog te genieten van de tijd die je nog met je zus hebt, hoe moeilijk dat ook is...

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  3. Jemig! Wat een bericht! En wat heb je dan ineens weer een hoop te verwerken!
    Fijn dat de familieband zo is dat jullie dat met elkaar kunnen doen. Pak je momenten en haal uit elke minuut wat er uit te halen valt, doe en zeg de dingen die er nu toe doen, haal herinneringen op, probeer van elk momentje samen te genieten... hoe lastig dat dat ook is!
    Heel veel sterkte, ik hoop voor jullie dat ze nog even mag blijven!!!!

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  4. I am SO HAPPY to hear that you have a STUDIO in the making. Dearest heart, I still need to respond to your fabulous letter....there is so much there. But I believe that the BUILDING UP of your own personal space in the form of a studio is your next step. BELIEVE ME: YOU HAVE A GIFT. Your ability I am sure, to write in DUTCH is beyond words.....for your ability to communicate your rich feelings in ENGLISH is impressive. I had a French teacher who told me that my French writing skills were impeccable BECAUSE I was able to COMMUNICATE CLEARLY. You do that so well.

    Everything we experience is a potential poem, message, novel, fairytale, exposé, essay...whatEVER kind of writing. You have been given much, and some has been "taken away" but ONLY FOR A GOOD REASON. Write about it. CREATE. Create strength for yourself and your readers.

    Oh how I wish I could hop on a plane to THE NETHERLANDS....so many of you out there are just stars in my heaven on earth......Anita

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  5. Francis,
    I am so sorry to hear about your beloved sister. Sisters are more than a friend,

    they are family
    they are flesh and blood
    they are everything

    A big hug to you, and may your sister keep seeing the stars in the sky.

    ~Sheri at Red Rose Alley

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  6. Lieve Francis, heel heel veel sterkte. Net nu je je leven weer een beetje op de rails had...ik ben in gedachten bij je, lieve groet

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  7. It is a JOY to find your wonderful comments my friend!

    Upon reading your beautiful words, this quote of which the author is unknown to me, came to mind:

    "THe best answers are NOT given, they are FOUND."

    It appears that you FOUND many answers as you described your family reunion and situation. That is how we GROW, isn't it? That is how we become to KNOW our purpose, when we FIND the answers ourselves.

    I WISH YOU MORE MOMENTS iN THE PRESENT that will fill you with the joy of living and struggles that accompany this gift of life. AND that you will find the JOY of writing about them in the beautiful way that you do. STUDY THE GREAT WRITERS that you love.....see how they lived. DO THE SAME. I do believe YOU are ready.

    I have a busy day today and I must get it started. But there is nothing more wonderful than to start my day with friends like you, in WRITING EACH OTHER!

    MILLE BISES MON AMIE, Anita

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  8. OH! And that Italian village of which you speak and your daughter is going to???? I HAVE BEEN THERE and STAYED THERE! IT IS GLORIOUS!!!! Anita

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  9. Dear Francis,
    I've been busy this summer emptying my own home. It's sad to see things go, and yet, it's a refreshing start to something new! Your children are so wonderful to come home and help you... I will look forward to seeing your new work space.
    And Francis, your sister... News like this comes like daggers to heart... But God gives us strength, love, and hope ~ as our ultimate goal is to be always in in His presence ~ for always ~ with all of the saints ~ all of us !
    Our family, friends, all of God's beautiful creation living in His magnificent presence... May your heart be strong and comforted ~
    Sending you many hugs dear Francis,
    Blessings to you always,
    ~ Maria

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  10. Oh my friend...I am so sorry to hear of your sister's news. My heart and prayers go out to you all. I love the thought of her being a bright star in the darkness...these thoughts must comfort you as well.
    You have been through so much and have become so strong. I do wish I was there with you so I can be another shoulder for you to lean on...but you have your dear family and together you will be strong for your sweet sister.
    xoxoxo
    You will be in my thoughts.

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