donderdag 13 augustus 2015

My own flow

I used to start my days musing with my first coffee , some writing and than GO .
Because my life was filled with my four children and my job as a kindergarten-teacher .
That was my ME-time .
I loved my very-early-morning bike rides to school when the world was waking up and I seemed to be the only one on the road ..... The rhythm in my biking worked as a creative inspirational process.
Thinking about the day to come .....
I was always very early at "work" so I could pick fresh flowers and have coffee and making a warm welcome for the children .

Not working anymore and no children in my home anymore changed all of that .
Now it's August 2015 and after receiving two new hips in 2014 I am working on my come-back ๐Ÿ˜Š
I have one new "job" and that is being a grandmother .
She is a bundle of joy and has so much love to give for free ❤️
From the first time I saw her , and my son as a father I entered a whole new world .

In my new function as a grandmother all comes together to the MAX .
My experience as a mother and as a teacher in a whole new dimension.

So far so good.
I could have graduate in ADJUSTING  with honors 
But I never was very good in taking care of myself . Taking care of others was my first always. 
So , being on my own I started to believe I did not take care of myself very well and by adjusting I did not make my own choices in life .
That a sad thought..... How could that be my life ? I could not believe that would be the outcome !
So I did not give up and "studied" this new fase and challenge and was determined to not give up on myself .
And than life started to bring me new lessons . At first I did not notice them as lessons . To be honest for a while I was thinking all went wrong !
That's a whole other way of looking ๐Ÿ˜Š
And than things started to change .
I began to see "lights" ......
I had clear moments .
I developed my own kind of therapy 
Knitting , just to see what the colors did next to one another. Just to knit .

And also 
Endlessly coloring for harmony and joy 
I draw the forms with gold and than color them .
Not for showing but just for me .made my head at peace. 
And my third therapy 
Making little garlands from felt-hearts also to be busy with my hands and enjoying the happy colors .
Also just for myself but garlands have to hang free and so I could no longer hide my process . 

Doing all of that the thoughts in my head and the memories found new ways to bring peace in my mind .
I was so used to keep much for myself because I had to do it myself as a single mother of four and than the walls started to crumble and I had to learn to involve others in my process. I had to learn to ask for help and accept help .

I send some garlands all over the world to blog friends 
(If you would like to have one I gladly send you one or as many as you like ๐Ÿ˜‚)

My life as a mother

My dream was happily ever married 
It changed when he left us 
And I had to be so much braver than I ever imagined 
To make the best of it .
There was not always time to be in the present .
There was so much to do and to worry about . I have spend endless time on worrying.
And now that's changing/changed too .
No more worries but 
JOY and happiness in my life 

And thanks to my newest way of blogging on my IPhone I can finally add my own pictures in my text .
I am slowly getting there 

Being the grandmother of Eva makes my life such a joy ❤️

Happy blogging to all of you 

6 opmerkingen:

  1. Oh Francis, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you here again, and this time, it's ALL YOU.....meaning that I too have been taking more photographs this summer and hope to only present my own photography on my blog. But enough about me....this is about YOU:

    Light is such a great teacher. When we all receive those lucid moments of understanding, we know there is something greater than our circumstances. Where do I even begin to tell you how great your musings are, how your life has changed, how CHANGE is our challenge to help us grow? I am enchanted to hear about your life as a teacher, biking to school every morning, early before the dawn rises....that was me too as an elementary teacher. To see a photo of your own classroom, where you greeted the children with your enthusiasm AND flowers? No wonder one statistical study I read once said that Dutch children were the happiest in the world, at one point in our history...with parents and TEACHERS like yourself, how could they not be happy?

    Change comes, it is inevitable. But we adjust, and in that adjusting, we find ourselves again in a new light. I am entering into my 13th year of teaching but only my 3rd year in secondary. I love those adolescents, but the system is much different than elementary, and I pray that my 3rd year is better, helping me to be a better record keeper of progress.

    KEEP ON inventing yourself, your knitting - not only is it beautiful, it is a metaphor for our lives. We create our rainbow of happiness. LOVE TO YOU! Anita

  2. So much color and beauty here today.

    I love the line about "graduating with honors in adjusting". Isn't that what life is all about!

  3. Hello my dearest Francis! I just looked at my blog and was smiling when I saw your comment. Then another dear Dutch blogger, Madelief came by right after you.

    It is a pure joy to see you come back to blog and to express SO BEAUTIFULLY in English, your heart. Seven years after I started blogging, and I am still passionate about seeing myself and others express themselves. I think dear Carol here hit on something so true: we are all adjusting. I will find out tomorrow more about my school year, as I go in to meet with a colleague. I will remember YOU and Carol, a fine educator, that we all must adjust. Sending you a hug! Anita

  4. I´m a grandmother of two 1 and 2 years beautiful boys, and I agree with you, it´s pure joy, I feel blessed.
    This new fase of my life is full of light and makes me understand that my grandsons are the prove of my eternity, I guess you understand me.
    Greetings from Brasil

  5. Francis, I love that picture of your family. They all look so happy.

    Keep knitting, my friend. It's such a talent. It's nice that you're going at your own flow.

    love, ~Sheri