lights will guide us

*

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse ?

Lights will guide you home

and ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below 

When you're too in love to let it go 

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

and I..............

Tears stream down your face 

I promise you will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

and I.....................

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

and I will try to fix you

SONG BY COLDPLAY

*

This morning

when I woke up

the sun was already

SHINING

and the birds were

SINGING

 and 

I was listening

and than the song

of COLDPLAY

was in my head

It's how my life is now

still trying to find my way

through the days

sometimes happy

sometimes sad

Spring is on her way

and that's a blessing

I LOVE when I can wake up 

when it's light outside

I LOVE to hear

the birds singing

I love to spend time

with my wonderful 

granddaughter

E V A

and I KNOW

I am so blessed

with my children

and my grandchild

and to be at HOME

in my house

and

just enjoy

all the wonderful things

like the blossom 

and the birds

and 

FRIENDSHIP

*

So

I am planning

to have 

my 

VRIENDINNEN-VERJAARDAG

my birthday-party

with my girlfriends

My birthday was

november 2

but I did not feel 

like celebrating back than

the days were short 

I did not know how

all was working out for me

being not able to work

anymore

and 

in the lifes of my friends

a lot was happening too

so

I decided

to postpone

And now 

I am glad I did

because

SPRING is in the air

all went well for me

I can be at home now

and 

all is well in my friends's

lifes too....

So 

a november-birthday

in April 

When I became 49

I decided to have

my birthday

with my girlfriends

on a  sunday-afternoon

Women

in my life

who mean a lot 

to me 

at first 

some of them 

did not know each-other

very well

they all knew ME

I choosed a theme

send them an invitation

and asked them

to tell something

about my choosen theme

tell to me 

but also to the others

SHARING

That was the most special gift

they could give to me

To share 

all from their own lifes and views

and

ever since

each year

I celebrate

with my lady-friends

in all those years

they have shared 

some very special afternoons

with me 

and with each-other

and I am not the only one

who lookes forward

for the celebration

I take care of the 

coffee...... tea

and of course some

very delicious 

PIE and chocolates

and other delights 

*

a november-birthday-party

in APRIL

SURPRISE 

*

and the song

is just

beautiful

and has often

helped me

in good and bad times

definately

GOOD

now

*

cannot wait.......

*

the sun is shining

and SPRING

is on her way

I sing with my granddaughter

about Spring and  Flowers 

In MAY she will be 2 years old

So she does not remember

SPRING

from last year 

but

she notices

how happy

the words make ME

*

and she knows 

how HAPPY 

SHE makes me

*

hope you have 

things to enjoy too

Happy new week 

*

* * SURPRISE * * SURPRISE * *

*

SURPRISES

*

my children

asked me to leave 

my house

for a day

*

no questions

to be asked

*

and you know

WHAT ?

They painted my livingroom
all the walls and the ceiling 
all beautiful warm white

*
new start 
MADE WITH LOVE 
heartwarming LOVE

*
and now
 I am SO ENJOYING
every minute 
sitting in my new
 clean and BRIGHT
room 

*
feeling all their 
LOVE
for me !

*
I hope 
you all
are loved too

*

The JOY of letting go .....

*

Is 

NOTHING

 really

 NOTHING ?

N O - T H I N G 

Is

 EMPTY

 really

 EMPTY ?

I guess it comes with my age

I am aware of the importance

of

LETTING GO .

So far nothing new

were it not

I have been saving things

for a far too long time.

and now

a lot is changing

FOR THE BEST 

I never could let go 

easily

( hey I am also a Scorpion )

and so I kept 

the PAST in all kind of stuff

For a long long time

I believed 

LETTING GO

was all about 

THE PAST 

And now 

a true miracle happened

now I SEE AND I KNOW

letting go

is all about 

THE FUTURE 

It's just the same

with all the stuff

It's taking a lot of space

and by letting go

NEW SPACE APPEARS

and not only that

the new space 

is there 

for what the future

will bring

NOW I realise

how

enjoying the nothing

the emptiness

is

of the greatest importance

because

I am beginning 

to hear

my own voice

Maybe you now think

what is she talking about

( writing about )

but to me 

the most amazing things

are happening

and 

I will tell you 

ALL about it 

soon

but for now

I am busy

clearing-up my life

and

I never thought

that could be

such a JOYFULL

thing to do

I am dancing

and

making a lot of space

for the future 

*

*

my-wish-for-you

Quilt strolls on moonlit nights

a playgrounds endless laughter

blooming roses in the spring

the glow the morning after

walking barefoot in the grass

a poem that makes you cry

the feel of silk upon your skin

an eagle when it flies

love songs on the radio

old couples holding hands

new born kittens nursing

enthusiastic fans

sitting on a porch swing

sipping lemonade

admiring the beauty

in all that God has made

watching for a shooting star

a breeze that cools things down

the first snow of winter

a night out of town

little acts of kindness

a loving word or two

simple things to treasure

these things I wish for you

author unknkown

*

Just to wish you all

some musing time

sitting with your coffee

or tea

and doing nothing

just let it be 

I will do that too 

and who knows

somewhere in time and space

our thoughts can meet 

*

in my heart

*

How about you ?

are you aware of

what's in YOUR heart ?

.

I told you about 

my friend

who has received

NEW LONGS

and got a new chance 

to live longer

before the operation

I was thinking more  and more

about how my life would be

without my friend

and that thought made me

sad very very sad.

Growing older

loosing people

becomes more and more

reality 

At first I could only think

about the lost

and the missing

I know 

since the operation

all has changed

but 

something else has changed too

By letting in my feelings

and taking myself seriously

something 

wonderful happened

I realised 

the people you have 

closed in your heart

they stay there

for ever 

I carry their heart

with me

I carry it 

in my heart 

I know that 

now

better than before 

Happy new week 

to all of you 

*

Oma Muize

*

I love EVA

my granddaughter

She is now 20 months of age

and  she talks ......

I love MAILEG mice 

I have three of them

Two living in this box

and 
on my last birthday
the right one
came to live with me

In dutch they are called
MUIZEN
MUIS (if it's one )

sometimes
when Eva is with me
we call them 
we sind a song
and go and find out
if they are AWAKE
and willing to play with us 

We love to play with them
and than
one day
when she was at home
and her mother said
they were going to visit me
Eva said

OMA MUIZE

and that's what she calls me
oma muize 

That's my Valentine Love Story
for you today 

*

it just fits ........

*

It just fits

into

this empty place

in your heart .....

After reading those words

found them while

pinteresting

...................

I was amazed

again

by

what a few words

can say ... can do ...

THIS EMPTY PLACE

IN YOUR HEART

and something

fits in 

*

I am still

IN BETWEEN

an old life

and a new one

the old one

is very far away 

that is my married life 

20 years ago !

and than there was 

this life as a single parent

with four children

and a full-time

teaching job

and than two years 

of not being able to work 

anymore

and having to let go

this amazing job

as a kindergartenteacher

and also 

adjusting to lots of pain...

and 

in the same time

my two last staying at home

children 

moved out 

and there I was

in this house 

with the empty rooms

and an empty agenda

and an empty life 

*

at first it only was

all of that 

I simply could not think

about 

THE FUTURE

what future ?

I was not a mother 

of children in my house

anymore

I was not a teacher anymore

I was completely LOST

*

Thanks to my very special

Blogfriends

I was belonging somewhere

in this space

between reality and 

what was to come ....

*

because

by blogging

I was discouvering

a whole new part of ME

All those amzing inspiring

women all over the world

sharing so much

and being there for

EACHOTHER

*

SURPRISING

me in the mail

with the most heartwarming

packets

*

bringing me

new friendship

and also 

SPACE

by thinking worldwide !

letting me know

I was good

just the way I was

*

and so I could go

to accept

and  mourn about the lost 

of my work 

and lots of other stuf

I put away somewhere

because I was too busy

SURVIVING

with my children 

*

I dealed with a lot

in the past two years

and now 

it's like this WINTER

it's like 

all is done and waiting

to flourish like SPRING 

*

it feels like 

I have so much space

inside me now

and I cannot wait

for all that's to come

all the new chances

all the TIME

the peace and the space

*

I guess that is 

very new too

to have 

PEACE

OF MIND

working so hard 

for so many years

was 

busy busy busy

always busy

*

And

now

I enjoy

having TIME

*

I have find out

how important it is

TO BE

in the moment

to feel what's to be felt

and to own that

and than ........

move on 

*

It's an amazing journey

and the light is shining in now

It feels like 

SPRINGCLEANING

my life

and I also

count all my blessing

I can see clearly now

much more

in PEACE

and with great gratitude

how

ALL OF IT

has brought me

where I am

HERE AND NOW

*

LOOKING FORWARD

to all that's coming

to me

in the future

and will fit in

*

I hope 

you are doing well

on your journey

let's share

and be here

for each-other

You 

are 

in my HEART 

*

white

*

as much as I love 

COLOURS

I have never loved

WHITE

more as the past time 

*

THE FIRST OF ALL COLORS

IS WHITE

WE SHALL SET DOWN

WHITE

FOR THE REPRESENTATIVE

OF LIGHT,

WITHOUT WHICH 

NO COLOR CAN BE SEEN ;

leonardo da vinci

*

wish you 

all

JOY 

*

colours

*

The purest 

and most thoughtful

MINDS

are those

wich

LOVE COLOUR

the most

John Ruskin

*

I am a clear-bright-colour fan

absolutely LOVE

bright colours

they always make me

HAPPY

*

Hope your weekend

may be colourful

*

just BE

*

I am so happy

to be here again

my laptop was out of order

and IS now 

repared 

Missing something

makes you realise

how important it was .

For me 

to have to miss

blogging

was 

ENLIGHTENING

sometimes 

we take things for granted

I DID

and I discovered 

how important it was and is 

to me .

and also 

it was/is time

to choose

to choose

after two years of blogging

HOW

I want to be as a blogger

what I choose to share 

I admire 

the blogs

who are vey personal

with words from that person

I sometimes

choose to be safe

and took 

a wonderful quote

from a famous person

and a beautiful picture

from Pinterest

and 

?

nice but .........

why doing that 

I could have been

just a reader

with other blogs

and enjoy them

and leave comments 

but I did not

I so much wanted to be

a blogger 

and 

I was ......

sometimes

I tried to be personal

that's more difficult

in a language

in which I am not used 

to express myself

Impossible sometimes

SO

picking quotes

was a way to express

what I could not say

myself

I love 

the combination 

of beautiful words

going along with

a beautiful picture

Long ago 

I found out

there are people

who are artists themselves

and there are the ones

that know to appreciate the art !

and love to share 

help to share !

I am with the last category

so 

her I go again 

*

exhilarating

*

Sunshine

is delicious

Rain

is refreshing

Wind

braces us up

Snow

is exhilarating

there is really 

no such thing

as bad weather

only

different kinds

of good weather

John Ruskin

*

We have snow

all is beautiful white

I sat on my couche

little Eva on my lap

we watched

the snowflakes

we did not say a word

Magical

*

INVISIBLE

*
Make friends
with the ANGELS
who
though invisible
are always with you

Often invoke them
praise them
and be aware
they can help
and assistance
in all your temporal
and spiritual affairs

Saint FRANCIS de Sales
photo by Berta Drost

*
Since our friend
Peter
got new longs
this week
we are praying for him
all the time

the words above
about the angels
being invissable
well
there are so many ANGELS
who are vissable
amongst us 

all the doctors and nurses
and also
there WAS a human-being
who signed a donor-codicil

there is a family
who lost a dear-one
and 
now 
our friend has been given
a new start
*
so
all the angels
all around us
deserve
to be recognised

they are all around

*

Miracles happen

*

I cannot stand

when I am having

a hard time

and do not seem

to overcome

and get over it

Yesterday 

and the day before

I was SO not being

my calm self

I was restless

and all the time

thinking about a very dear friend

He was not feeling well

and he already is 

very fragile

He is on the waitinglist

to become new longs

and

you can imagen how bad it has to be

to even get on that list .

always in and out the hospital

and handing in more and more

He was such an 

ENJOYING life type

and had to adjust

more and more and more

AND THAN

my friend Astrid ( his wife )

send me an sms

We are in the hospital

and

HE HAS NEW LONGS

I was over the moon 

This was what he had been waiting for

and how WONDER-FUL

this is possible

so now

we all pray for him

and HOPE

for his new beginning

to be WONDERFUL

* 

*

I know

it's january

and there's a lot of 

WINTER

yet to come

but

I need grape hyacinth's

just because of that

beautiful HOPE

to know Spring will come

I know .....first more winter ...

I know

*